Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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