Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
as a side note pls kill me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
