wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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