$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize