ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
