i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
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