Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
