After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
