If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We talked him into tasing himself.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
