Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
