hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
