Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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