you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
