This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize