Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you inspire me to be a worse person
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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