I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
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