There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
