you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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