at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
