So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it glows. i had to have it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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