hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
