My cat gives me a boner
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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