CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
