i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
