Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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