just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
