Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize