Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize