He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
