But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
