We won't sleep together?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize