You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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