i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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