Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
