yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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