I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
