suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dicks are not precious.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
