how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
