Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
