yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
