At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
