Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
