i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
