what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
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