More tranny stories later!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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