singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
