I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
