My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
