Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
