Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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