have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
