When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
