everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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