I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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