ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
