I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
