i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
