her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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