party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
