I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
