and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
