I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
