so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
