i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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