he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
