The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
