i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
