3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
